Fading Lights & Ferris Wheels

Santa Cruz

You tasted like beer every time you kissed me. The cheap kind, because that’s all we could afford. “I’m going to make you my wife one day.” It’s so easy to make promises of forever when you are so young. But I believed every word, listening to the waves crash in the darkness; a satiation I couldn’t stop even if I wanted to. You were terrible for me, but I recall you so beautifully.

Renegades

To infinity and beyond

I used to wear this plastic crown as a child, playing make believe. I had no idea that fate is a mystery, love ends, and I used to think that if I squished my eyes shut just hard enough, I would sprout wings and fly off the edge of the earth.

Stream of Consciousness

Home

Fallen leaves remind me of November in Portland. They are green now; they were red then. Angels danced in rainstorms, and lovemaking struck lightning. They stirred something in me, something familiar. Something kind of like hope. Something kind of like home.

Birthday in Bali

IMG_2762

It was green. So, so green. The epitome of earthiness. The Tegalalang Rice Paddies reminded me of green tea and tamarind. Sprinkles of lemongrass and sprouts of Cleopatra’s rose. I stared so long I swear my eyes began to bleed into the sky. Standing out over the edge, I realized this is life. This is what living must be. And I regret that I had not done more of it. It was set behind miles of street markets and bustling cement roads. Watching women sit under ceiling fans and men pick bits of banana from their teeth. I wandered into the most stunning textiles shop. I cannot possibly describe the colors. I was feverish from the amount of colors.

What Victory Feels Like

Victory

It’s the sound of handcuffs locking around his wrists. It’s the cops taking him away. Far, far away. For years and years. God, yes, it is the sound of handcuffs. It is calling Gavin, calling Ashli. It is sharing the news that is nearly two decades late. But better late than never. It’s knowing I’m going to be okay. We are all going to be okay.

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