All You Need is Love

It’s a process – falling in love. And how rare it is to find people that are completely and utterly in love. Yet most of the time we associate this love with another person – the one that is supposed to “complete” us, the one we can’t live without. The one, the one, the one. We see movies, stories, articles – all about the importance of finding that one person that does it for you. But what I’ve come to realize over the past year is that in order to find that heart-stopping, gut-wrenching, butterflies coming out of your stomach, ears, and ass kind of love with another, we need to wholeheartedly and unabashedly fall in love with ourselves first.

Last summer I started dating a man who I very quickly fell in love with. I didn’t care about taking it slow or following the “rules” of dating someone, I just let myself free fall into him. And a year later, I’m free falling with him. Yet over the past year, I’ve also come to realize how insecure I am with myself. It doesn’t matter how many times you hear, “you look beautiful” or “you’re so pretty,” if you don’t believe it, it’s never going to be true. Many of my insecurities ended up stemming from the fact that I view this man as perfect, and what happens if I don’t live up? Surely he realizes he’s perfect, too. And me with my emotional baggage, sheer dorkiness, and the perfectly timed breakouts of adult acne – well, how can that be viewed as perfect?

Over the past month, I’m starting to learn that it can be. I’m taking the process that I’ve applied to men and applying it to myself. I’m viewing myself as some version of perfection. Because if I love myself – my entire self – it will only enhance any outside love I receive. The affirmations I receive from my significant other, or from any other individual for that matter, will become reaffirmations. It is taking time, however. I have to constantly remind myself not to focus on my flaws, which I believe are so obvious to everyone else (but in actuality, they aren’t). I need to be happy with myself and know that I can – and will – do it without self-help guides. I’m way too competent for those (hey, was that a complement? I must be getting better at this…).

The idea is simple: embrace yourself. You are the shit. The bomb. The ultimate. The absolute. So this is how I started: a statement I make to myself every day I wake up. I let myself think of all the good I bring to this world. I mean, who doesn’t want to start their day off with a mini ego boost?

But like I said, I’m learning. It’s gradual, but it is rather nice to be falling in love all over again. And don’t let anyone tell you it’s impossible to be in love with two different people – I know I am. And it’s a beautiful thing. All you or I or anyone needs is love, so let’s begin from within.

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