Taking Chances

Don’t you ever get the feeling that all your life is going by and you’re not taking advantage of it? – Ernest Hemingway, The Sun Also Rises

Lately, I’ve been feeling slightly unsatisfied with life. And maybe unsatisfied isn’t the right word – believe me, I’m extremely grateful for the life I have and for the opportunities that are presented to me, but maybe it’s more of that feeling where I’m not living life to the fullest, as they say. I’m not carpe diem-ing it very well, if you will. And it’s hitting me more and more that this is it. We have one life. One chance to do this.

Yet I find it incredibly difficult to not waste any of this precious time. It hit me one day, and actually scared me that I could easily list out my daily schedule: work out, head to the office (and work at a job that I am less than passionate about), head to class, commute home. And find time to sleep and eat in between. What’s a social life anyway?

Yes, I love that I have the opportunity to pursue my education, the fact that I have a job, the ability I have to drive a car, but I know that I don’t want this to be my life. I can’t have this be my life. It’s so…mundane.

I read those quotes all the time about making changes with your life if you’re not happy with it, doing something brave or bold, being spontaneous because we’re in our twenties and when will we ever get to live this way again? But how many of us actually take these quotes to heart and live our lives by them? I wish I could say I did. I know I want to. I know I need to.

And the thing is, I’ve always found ways to make excuses for myself. I didn’t study abroad during my undergrad days because the business program I was in didn’t transfer credits so easily and I couldn’t risk falling behind, I didn’t apply to colleges in a different state because I was too close with my family and friends, I didn’t go skydiving because I was too paranoid my chute would not open. I didn’t, I didn’t, I didn’t. I refuse to have my life be a bunch of “did not’s”. So I’m making some changes. Or at least sincerely looking into making some changes.

A chance has come my way to potentially relocate, and it would be a huge relocation. I would be leaving everything I know behind. I’ll leave the details at that for now, but the thought of taking this chance is the most thrilled I’ve felt in a long time. Yes, I’m scared shitless, but I’d be doing something more with my life. For years, I’ve wanted to travel and see the world. Have my Eat, Pray, Love epitome. But I never have – in terms of being outside of the country, I’ve been to Mexico and Canada. And that’s it.

I know I’m not alone here. I know there are so many people that wish they could just walk in to their offices and announce that they quit, they’re going to pursue other life passions, they’re going to actually take advantage of this one life. The fact that I might actually get the chance to do that in the near future – well, there aren’t enough words to even begin to describe my excitement.

For the moment, I don’t know where this opportunity will take me exactly. I just know that every fiber of my being, every molecule and atom in my body wants this. I know that I want to see something, do something, leave something behind. Make my mark. I know that sounds cheesy, but like I said, I’m going to do my damnedest to ensure this is my reality. Ensure that this is my life. Because this is my life, after all, and it’s about time I take control of it.

Comments

  1. I feel what you mean! Time is flying and I’m sometimes feeling like I don’t enjoy it to the fullest, but you know, sometimes it’s just not in your hands. I just graduated and I was planning to do a trip around the U.S. and Central America with a friend but now she decided to do a master so I don’t have a partner anymore which means that I can’t take the risk to do the trip cause it’s kind of dangerous to do it alone. Anyway, I’m sure another big chance will come along soon! 😉
    Please check out my blog and let’s follow each other!
    http://prettylittletreasures.wordpress.com
    xx

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