My Soul Mates


Carrie Bradshaw said it best – maybe our girlfriends are our soul mates. And just like Carrie, I too, happen to have three amazing soul mates. The four of us happened to be sitting in a restaurant booth last night, and one of my friends, who, per her request, will be known throughout this post as Anastasia Beaverhausen (AB, henceforth), kept poking fun at the fact that I had this massive grin plastered on my face. And I realized they are the three people that I am most genuinely happy to see on any day at any given second – I can see AB rolling her eyes at the absolute sweetness of the aforementioned statement.

But in all honesty, those three make me laugh harder than any man ever has. I love and value each of them equally, but in very different ways. Anisha, who I’ve known since preschool, accepts me even at my weirdest moments – from creating a music video for the theme song to Growing Pains to crawling under a public restroom stall to fetch us some toilet paper, she’s seen the good, the bad, and the very, very ugly. I met Alanna and AB during my freshman year in high school, and we’ve all been friends ever since. Alanna is by far the kindest person I know, and I adore her simply because she has the potential to be just as weird as me. I’m down for the count after one shot, she’s down for the count after one beer. My dearest Anastasia is the one who, I swear, is going to make my laugh lines on my face come in prematurely. I can’t help but smile (and subsequently laugh my ass off) when I’m around her. She’s also the protector of the group, the Mama Bear (which is ironic given that she’s the youngest of the four of us). She’s full of tough love, but has the biggest heart.

And the thing is, I know I need all three of them – my life wouldn’t be the same if even one of them wasn’t around. They’re more like family to me than some of my actual family members. Those three women stayed with me from when visiting hours began to when they ended when I was hospitalized for a week a few years ago. And yes, they teased me about my reaction to the drugs and medication, and Anisha drew doodles in my “hospital journal” of the love story I (wished I) had with Steve Nash and Dirk Nowitzki. AB screamed at other drivers because they clearly needed to move their asses so she could pick up dinner from P.F. Chiang’s and bring it back to the hospital for those people that could actually eat solid food (I wasn’t one of them). Alanna would do funny little dances for me so that I would laugh rather than cry (side note: I was extremely emotional and nearly blacked out the doctors had me on so many meds). And all three of them sat with me in the aftermath and played Guitar Hero at my house day after day since I could barely walk. So for those of us that deem our manfriends as our soul mates, I’ll just ask: what man has done more for you than your friends have?

I currently have a manfriend of my own, and I love and adore him more than life itself, but he’s new to my life – these girls know me inside and out. They know how I will react to things, they know (and most of the time, understand) how I think, and they still love and accept me, flaws and all. My manfriend does these things, too – but I feel more carefree around Alanna, Anisha, and AB. More free to be my absolute self – I’m not worried about impressing them with my looks or my intellect, I’m more worried that we end up concerning others with our talk of the New World Order and how AB is secretly a part of the Illuminati.

We joke, we laugh, we cry, we hug, and we even fight, but there is an unconditional love between the four of us that I don’t necessarily know can exist in any romantic relationship. Numerous studies even show the power of friendship among women. A study conducted by UCLA illustrates that women who have the same friends over (at least) a nine-year period cut their risk of dying by 60%. I’ve known Anisha for 20 years, and Alanna and AB for nearly ten years, so thanks for saving my life, girls!

These women have also helped shaped who I am today. They have, again and again, reaffirmed that it’s okay to just do me – that clearly I must be a fairly decent person to have friends like them. What’s even more amazing is that I know these friendships will just keep getting stronger. Ain’t nothin’ gonna break our stride. Through everything and anything, I have these ladies now and forever, and they should know they’ll always have me as well. They’re my team, my go-tos, my pain in the asses, my wolf pack, my best friends, my soul mates.

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