My Four Senses

Credit to Idea go on

Credit to Idea go on

Sadly, I’m down a sense. My vision is blurred, my right eye is strained (and sadly, in pain – hey, I’m such a poet!), and thanks to a corneal ulcer, I can only stay on this piece of technology for a few minutes without wanting to throw up that piece of peanut butter toast I had an hour ago.

As with anything though, there is a silver lining. And there happens to be multiple silver linings despite my vision being compromised (although you should just forgive me in advance for any typos I make). The silver lining is this past week has taught me that I take way too much for granted. Being a semi-privileged millennial, I feel that may be common among my generation. That being said, being knocked on your ass and dependent on your closest loved ones from everything to cutting your chicken to helping you set up Skype so your boyfriend can see you (even though you can’t see him) definitely opened up my eyes (see what I did there?).

It sounds absurdlyCORNy (corny, cornea – get it? Happy to see I still haven’t lost my quick wit) of me to say, but it really is all about the little things. As I semi-blindly type this out to you, I realize that our senses are things that, unless we are born without one of them, we walk around typically believing they will always be there. The five pals you have by your side on the daily. Unless you’re Haley Joal Osment, then you have six.

Yeah, a corneal ulcer will change all of that. Last Wednesday at around 3:30 a.m., I truly believed that I would never see out of my right eye again. It was thatpainful – that, and I could not see a damn thing out of my eye. If it weren’t for my beloved parents, I would not have survived this week. And while that may sound dramatic, at the very least, my hair would have been oilier than deep fried bacon (is that a thing? I mean, I realize bacon is usually fried, but deep fried? Being that I’ve never had red meat in my 24 years of existence, I wouldn’t really know for sure). Anyway, I have come to realize that my mother is superhuman. She may work from home, but that doesn’t necessarily make her job automatically easier. And let’s face it, I have been a giant-sized baby this past week, walking into walls, fumbling around for the soap in the shower – so we can basically count the care for her eldest daughter as a second job. And yet she did this all flawlessly. And to top it off, her birthday is tomorrow. Can we get President Obama over to our house to award her a medal or something? Because let’s face it, she’s done way more in the past week than Congress has done in the last six months. Don’t let me get going on that tangent…

Essentially what I am trying to say is that this whole ulcer in my eye thing has taught me to slow down and appreciate anything and everything I can. I won’t take for granted the way Gavin smiles, I won’t forget the way my dad so delicately plates his dishes after he’s finished performing a masterpiece on his backyard grill, I’ll remind my mom that she shouldn’t get so stressed when the vacuuming doesn’t get completed right away. There are worse things – I should know. And there are MUCH worse things than a corneal ulcer that people go through on a daily basis.

Some people are born blind – they are never able to see the world they live in. Millions of individuals around the world are coping with incurable cancers and other diseases. Others have no loved ones to turn to when they need them most. So just appreciate the people and the things in your life. I am by no means trying to trivialize other people’s problems, but whenever shit occurs, we have two options: throw ourselves a pity party or fight back. I have dealt with a fair amount of “shit” in my life, and I have always chosen to fight back. I think Rocky taught me that best (side note: during my recovery through spinal surgery a few years back, I watched the Rocky movies on the daily). Life will beat us to our knees if we let it, but the whole point is this: we are supposed to come out stronger in the end. We are supposed to be the winners. The believers. The hopefuls. The fighters. So here’s to everyone and all of our shit. May we fight, may we learn, may we appreciate, and may our struggles only know defeat.

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