Structuring Your Life around Buzzfeed Quizzes

We’ve all done it. We see the round, green icon labeled “QUIZ” and the next mouse click is inevitable. We all need a break during our workday or school day – so we navigate over to Buzzfeed, and the next thing we know, we are determining if we truly are a Hipster or not. I ended up discovering that I, as much as I love “hip” cities like San Francisco and Brooklyn, am not. Then again, tell me something I don’t know.

But isn’t that exactly why we take these Buzzfeed quizzes in the first place? Aren’t they supposed to serve as re-affirmations of what we already believe about ourselves and how we perceive ourselves? It’s only when we get a result that we are dissatisfied with do we begin to question the very existence of our sanity.

Epic Fail

To be frank though, most of the results we receive on these quizzes are somewhat baffling. Like, what exactly does it mean that I shopped at Abercrombie & Fitch in the nineties? Analyze this for me, Buzzfeed! Is this quiz actually telling me that all in all, I just want a surfer boy in my life and I love summer – or is it illustrating that I’m a “basic” bitch who loves moose? Moose? Meese? Someone tell me the plural form of the word “moose.” While we’re at it, someone fully explain to me what it is to be a “basic” bitch. See how this one Buzzfeed quiz is already impacting my life! The madness needs to be stopped.

Curiouser and curiouser...

Curiouser and curiouser…

But it won’t be. Let’s be real – we are totes relying on these insightful studies to help us make our tough life decisions, right? Summer is a month away – now do I take the Buzzfeed quiz or look to Katy Perry for inspiration for how I should color my hair. Perhaps a colored ombré. Do I dare? I did, but I spent about five minutes determining who my style kindred spirit is. How exactly am I supposed to choose between Rachel McAdams, Jessica Biel, Emma Stone, and Jennifer Lawrence? HOW, BUZZFEED, HOW?! All four of them are so beautiful. I mean, it was easy to instantly cross Rihanna and Kristen Bell off of my list. I don’t want to date Chris Brown, and I definitely don’t want to have the voice of one of Cinderella’s mice. But those other four – I mean, how exactly do I make this decision? Five minutes have passed…damn it. Five minutes of my lunch break I’ll never get back. Screw it, I’m going with J. Biel – the girl has ah-mazing taste. After all. She is married to the eye candy of the century Justin Timberlake and she was the most relatable character on 7th Heaven. Oh, and what do you know? I should ombré my hair for summer. Isn’t that what I JUST said?! Yeezus Lord.

Claire on Modern Family

Luckily, there are some Buzzfeed quizzes I am (reluctantly) able to skip over. For one, I already know I’m a “Harry Potter Super-Fan” and I do know “Friends” more than most normal people. Then again, I would love to know who on Friends would be my soulmate…wait, wait – this cannot be correct – Joey? Given that I’ve been the girl that has (somewhat) mastered long-term relationships, I’m willing to guess that mine and Joey’s relationship would last for one, hot minute. And most of that time would probably be spent in the bedroom. Eh, whatever, a girls’ gotta eat, right? And life tends to be way more fun without pants anyway.

My thoughts exactly.

My thoughts exactly.

Perhaps Buzzfeed quizzes have become such an integral part of our everyday lives because we are consistently immersed in social media. Maybe it’s because they are slightly addictive. Maybe it’s the Illuminati at work once again. Maybe it’s because once we start, we can’t stop. That’s what Miley said. In fact, 96 percent of individuals that start a Buzzfeed quiz will finish it, which not only helps Buzzfeed capture data on what we like and what we are interested in as a collective society, but it also helps them structure future quizzes. So round and round the carousel of addiction we go.

But all kidding aside, most of the individuals I know do not actually take the results of these quizzes seriously. They’re more for comedic purposes, aren’t they? AREN’T THEY? Quick, someone make a Buzzfeed quiz about this.

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