Homecoming

Homecoming

When I’m away, I will remember how you kissed me under the lamppost back on Sixth street. Hearing you whisper through the phone, wait for me to come home.
– Ed Sheeran, Photograph

In a little over two weeks, someone incredibly important and incredibly special to me is finally coming home. This is for him.

It has been so long since I’ve seen you. Four and a half months felt like an eternity. And I know these next two weeks will feel like another eternity. I’ve never been one to wish for a fast forward button, but when it comes to this, all I know is that I want you home.

Your homecoming means so much for both of us. It means more than just Thai food and frozen yogurt and staying up all night; it also means we need to tackle the hard stuff. The issues that have driven a wedge between us in the past. No matter what happens though, I need you to know that you truly are my best friend. And I could not have asked for anyone better. I will not ask for anyone better.

I have spent countless moments visualizing the initial moment that we see each other. I only see smiles and those happy kinds of tears. I see you stepping off of that plane, shoulders broad and strong, with your eyes light, but reserved. I haven’t made the past few months easy on you – I know that. Yet you have spent the past two years making life as easy as possible for me. I know you are worried, concerned, cautious. But I will do anything to alleviate those fears. Because all I’ve ever needed to know things would be okay are a smile and a hug from you. I only hope I can do the same for you.

It’s funny, even though you are the one coming home, I feel like I’m the one that’s finally getting home. For the past two years, you have been my home. Not the walls that have surrounded me since I was seven years old, but you. My home isn’t one place or a single location, but it is wherever I am when I’m with you. In the park when you stole my camera to take pictures of pigeons. In bed in the middle of the night when you roll over and your arm fits against me so perfectly. In your kitchen while I sit on the countertop playing music and watching you cook. In your eyes every time you’ve told me that you love me. In your hands every time you held mine. In everything that you are. My home has always been you. So yes, I am thrilled for your homecoming – but I’m even more thrilled that I am getting my home back once again.

I know that no matter what comes of us – I will be forever grateful that I met you. I will be forever thankful that you changed my life for the so much better. I will be forever appreciative that a man like you took the time to get to know a woman like me. And I will forever be indebted to you because of your grace, your charm, your humor, your dignity, and everything that you are. I have no regrets with you and me. I pray that you don’t either.

I know I haven’t always kept my promises. I haven’t always held up my end of the bargain. But I can promise you that I will always be your best friend. I will always be here for you. If you need anyone to binge on sushi with or if you need someone to help you move your boxes out of storage or if you just need someone to be there, I will be there. Sushi, boxes, as your friend, girlfriend, lover, whatever. Anything that you need. Because you have been anything – and everything – I’ve needed and wanted for the past two years.

No, there are no guarantees that we will work out. That we will find our happily ever after, but I still end every day thinking that there is a time and place for us. And that we will carve out our own version of a happily ever after one way or another. I miss you, and I’ve been missing you, and I’ve been counting down to your homecoming since the day you left.

People say that home is where the heart is. And my home is with you. My heart is with you. Always.

 

I’ll be seeing you.

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