I No Longer Need Closure

I cried because he never stopped me from leaving, I cried because he didn’t try to get in touch, I cried because I missed his touch, I cried because even though he had humiliated me, even though he had made me cringe and twist into this shadow of a human being, I still found him to be beautiful.

Playing Cards Against Humanity with Your Parents

I quickly realized, however, that the problem with playing this game with your parents – no matter how liberal and “cool” they are – is that you discover that your dad knows terms like smegma (dear Lord..) and your best friend does not (and then has to proceed to Google image it) and your mom continually has to ask clarification questions like what exactly is queefing and can someone explain what gloryholes are.

When You Hear News about an Ex

Maybe it’s because every time I hear or see his name, I can’t help but recall certain memories, maybe it’s because of the way I was so devastatingly hurt when we ended (or more like the way we ended, I should say), or maybe it’s because of the way I used to love him. In a way that I’ve never loved anyone else.

Green Eggs & No Ham?

Happy Friday, y’all! Recently I’ve been asked a few times what the heck is up with my chosen URL name (greeneggsnohamforsam). So I thought I’d let you into my world a little more, and explain why I chose such a kitschy name. First things first, my name is Sam. But you already knew that. I […]

My Brain at a Justin Timberlake Concert

To celebrate our two year anniversary, my boyfriend decided to spoil me and take me to a Justin Timberlake concert. Now for any normal human being, this would be a great gift. But for me, a woman that has faithfully loved JT for the past 16 years, this gift was BEYOND HUGE. (That’s what she […]