Giving Thanks

Stardust

Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.
– Marcel Proust

Happy New Year, everyone! I, for one, am incredibly happy to have a fresh start. 2014 was am extremely difficult year for me – probably the hardest of my 25 (almost 26) years of life. However, I had some people by my side, and they deserve a bunch of giant hugs and kisses and endless amounts of thank you’s. While I am keeping them anonymous, each of the following paragraphs are individual thank you’s to the people that supported me through 2014, and that I am carrying with me through 2015 and beyond.

First, to the two people that gave me life. I know last year we saw ourselves riding the rockiest rollercoaster, but what you have given me in this last year all that I could ever need: unconditional love, support, and acceptance. Through the tears and the yelling, I think last year brought you both some of the understanding that I longed for you to have about me for so many years. You have given me nothing except everything I need. You have let me grow into the woman I am supposed to be, but you have always kept a spot at home and in your hearts just for me. And for that, I am truly grateful.

To the woman that has been my friend for over 20 years now – thank you. You may be hundreds of miles away, but the distance has never lessened our friendship. And it never will. Even if it is just a quick text, you have always checked in on me. Where would I be without you? Worse off, I know that. And although you have another life you’re living, another family of your own, you have always managed to ensure I still feel like I am a part of you.

You two have been a constant source of laughs and love for over a decade now. Despite our falling out, I know that we are stronger than ever. Thank you for picking me up. Your sarcasm, your humor, your wit, and every single bit of you – both of you – always bring a smile to my face. Although we don’t always talk every single day, know that I love you girls a crazy, crazy, crazy amount.

This girl shares my DNA. My life source, her blood flows through mine, and vice versa. You are one of the strongest people I know. You have done nothing but protect me and though you may be over three years younger than me, you have always managed to make me brave. We have always balanced each other out, and last year, more than anything, I need balance. I craved stability. Thank you for being a pillar for me.

You – you keep me sane. Seriously. I have no idea what I would do without our constant chatting about men, school, mistakes made, and lessons learned. We have grown so much closer this past year, and I consider you a true friend. You have never judged me. Do you know how rare that is? I’ve shared so many of my rough patches with you, and you have always been there to help me through the tangled forest. I am so unbelievably thankful I have you, not only as my classmate, but also as my friend. You are a beautiful person. You deserve so much more credit than you’re given. Thank you for being so open with me – know that I always have your back.

I have known you only a matter of months, but we happened to fall into our friendship so quickly. I tripped and there you were, with your peanut butter and jelly on flatbread, and somehow I knew from the very beginning we’d be friends. You’re like the Todd to my Copper. I know you don’t know everything about me, and I don’t know everything about you, but you should just know I feel extremely at ease with you. You have sat there on a daily basis and just let me ramble on and on about life, love, and I’ve already shared things with you that only a handful of people know about me. What can I say? My gut just knows – I am without a doubt, certain that I can put my full trust in you and you’ll never let me down. I believe you are one of the most genuine people I know. And you’re just a good person. All around. I hope if you choose to keep hanging out with me that I can learn to be more like you. Know that I admire you. And I appreciate all of the laughs you have given me thus far (even when you don’t think you’re being funny, you are). I hope our friendship only continues to grow and strengthen from here. And at the very least, you’re stuck with me until June.

I know I was fated to meet you in 2014. With I was drowning – and drowning quickly, might I add – and you threw me a lifesaver. You pulled me into the shore of everything you are, and although I fought it for some time, I tried my hardest to push you away, convince myself you weren’t necessary – I could not have been more wrong. Some may laugh at me, but I sincerely believe God wanted me to meet you. And He wanted me to meet you exactly when I did. Thank you for being such an inspiration to me. You have overcome more obstacles in your life than anyone I know. You have conquered your demons; thank you for being there for me while I defeat mine.

Last, but most certainly not least, you have been the one person that has never left my side. For nearly three years now, you have been my true best friend. The one person that, no matter how I was acting, no matter what I was going through, you were always there to hold me and love me. You exhibit the truest form of unconditional love. You had so many opportunities to give up on me, and yet, you still stand beside me. I am so incredibly lucky. You are by far the best person I know. My heart will always, always, always hold a spot for you. You have been a constant in my life for so long that I cannot begin to fathom life without you. You’re the one person that knows absolutely everything about me, and even then, you have always encouraged me to simply be myself. And love who I am. Because you have always loved whatever “me” I am. You have accepted me wholly, and I, I know I do not deserve you. But thank you. For being in my life. For being my light, my love – you shine so brightly that I can only love you blindly, but oh so willingly. For this blind love that I have for you is not one made out of haste; it is one birthed out of stardust, moonlight, and tiptoe kisses. You, my love, I must thank, for everything.

And while I have said it before – and I will say it again – thank you to everyone and anyone who reads anything on this blog. No matter what you think of me or think of my writing, thank you for taking the time to read my words. Knowing that I’m reaching somebody – anybody – well, that kind of knowledge is life changing. And something I will (and do) carry with me every day. I could not be more grateful. Wishing you all a wonderful 2015.

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