From the Passenger’s Side

Passenger Side

It was such a simple memory, really. Quite frankly, I am surprised I remember it after all this time. The sky awakened with canary yellow and blonde rays. The scarlet of his Xterra reflected the auburn undertones of my hair that splayed out the passenger’s side window. His left hand on the wheel; his right resting on my thigh – his fingers wandering to the beat of the radio’s music.

I belong with you, you belong with me; you’re my sweetheart.

For most of my life, I never thought I would experience love, but now all I have to do to feel it is shift my gaze to the left. He is breathtaking, and what we have makes me contemplate what the word beautiful means. He hums the lyrics to me – and even though the song has been overplayed on even the stations of static, to me, they are whispers of sweet nothings – a melody that he has composed solely for my ears. A rhythm that dances along my naked heart so delicately.

The wind tickles us through open windows, and it is in that fleeting moment that I can admit how much I need him. How much I miss him, even when he is right next to me. My spirit is in a constant state of burning for him, and all I want to know are his dreams and his thoughts – all the warmth I need is wrapped up in him.

I wanted to spend the rest of that drive – and the rest of my life – discovering him and rediscovering us. Because it was this very moment that I knew I would love him for the rest of time. I was sure of it. My soul was undeniable in its epiphany. It had been years since I had opened my heart, and I am ever so grateful that it was him that I opened it for – because with him, I am invincible. I have found my hallelujah in every breath he takes.

It was just a car ride. That is all it was. Just a simple car ride. But as the last words of the song tumbled out of the speakers, I could feel myself completely immersed in another human being. It is vulnerability picked until it is raw. I can see my entire future with him. I see stars where his knuckles graze mine.

Where would I be without him?

I know that I am more than saved – I know I will be okay. I know we will be okay. And I know love, in its past, present, and future form. Until my last breath; until death takes me, he is mine. And I am his.

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