Survival of the Fittest: Handling a Broken Heart

We’ve all been there, haven’t we? That gut-wrenching (literally) pain where we feel like our hearts may just burst at any moment as we are trying to cross the street. And we wish the sun would sink behind mountains and have the clouds shower us with rain. Break-ups are no one’s friend. Especially when the love that ends is one that has coursed through us so deep we have forgotten how to swim and are more than okay to drown. And we cannot simply turn off our love – we have to let the hurt course through us just as that love did.

But what to do in the meantime? Below are some tips (personally tried and tested) that I have found to always help me. And if not help, then they mask the pain pretty damn well. Spoiler alert: One of my tips does not include alcoholic indulgences. Sorry to disappoint.

  1. Membership to Netflix, Amazon Instant Video, Hulu (or any video streaming service)
Probably my favorite couple. Credit to:

Probably my favorite couple. Credit to:

For me, it is Netflix and Amazon. Nothing helps more to forget your own story than by getting lost in someone else’s. When I’m really hurting, I go through and watch all of the seasons of Instant Star. So many kudos and brownie points to you if you watched that show. It used to be on The N, and was (sadly) canceled after four seasons. But it gave Alexz Johnson her music career and who can’t help but relate to the Jude and Tommy love story, as heart wrenching as it is.

All I’m saying is that, yeah, it’s not always wise to turn into a couch potato, but sometimes, it does the heart good to watch a few episodes of our old favorite shows. It not only hits our nostalgia button, but I’ve also found that it helps bring up happier memories of better times (i.e. the first time you were watching the episode of that show).

  1. The “Delete” Button

I do not mean automatically logging onto Facebook and erasing every memory the two of you ever created. I mean “delete” in more a detached sense. Do not Facebook stalk, Instagram stalk, Vine stalk – no stalking of any kind. Use your broken heart to fuel you, not destroy you. You know that saying, “the past is the past.” It may sound simple, but it’s true. Do your best not to dwell.

  1. Exercise

All of those things athletes spout about endorphins – totally true. Exercising is a complete source of escape. It will boost your emotions, no matter what you do. For me, I have found the best outlet to be one of two things: Insanity or boxing. I mean, once you master a backfist combo, I’m sure you’ll walk out of there feeling pretty good about yourself. Man or no man. Woman or no woman.

Shaun T Meme

Ultimately, exercise will make you feel good. And a broken heart is begging you to just help it heal. So do any little thing you can – even if the relief is temporary – to start piecing it back together. And who knows? You might discover a new hobby that quickly turns into a passion of yours (side note: this actually is how I discovered my love for boxing).

  1. Cry

 “Sometimes you need to just cry. It can be cathartic.” That is what my cousin tells me whenever I am going through a break up. And it’s true. I tried for so long to choke back tears, but then the moon would rise, and I would have to come face to face with the fact that I was alone again. So yes, sometimes, you just gotta let it out, so to speak. And donuts always help.

  1. Great Food…

Speaking of donuts, the best way to mend a broken heart is through your stomach. Even when it feels like that’s where your heart may have sunk to. And it is more than okay to order take out – we have all been bed ridden due to a broken heart at some point – so forget cooking. Forget dishes. Ultimately, it is okay to wallow for a bit and swim in some chow mein noodles (or something a little less gross).

  1. …and Friends

Lastly, rely on those that love you. When you don’t have much love for yourself, fall back on those friendships that you may have set on the back burner while you were in that former relationship. Friends and family – typically, their love is unconditional. Let them in. Let them make you laugh, let them be a literal shoulder for you to lean on. Even if you feel like being alone, don’t be alone all the time. Going out or hanging out or chilling out – it will all help to get your mind off of your heart. And most importantly, when you begin to move forward, you will have the people that matter most right by your side.


  1. What a beautiful article! A wonderful and heartfelt list. 😉

    Peace to you,


  2. These are great tips! And I’m so glad not to read about getting drunk or something, but just to move on 🙂

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