White Lightning & Blue Flames

It’s okay that you don’t see yourself the way that I do.
That you don’t see how your eyes are sprinkled with flecks of hazel,
and you probably don’t realize that you bring your left hand
up to your mouth every time you laugh.
The same hands that hold me, that could probably build
towers and castles and maybe you do, maybe you don’t understand
that when your left is in my right, I know you were worth waiting for.
You don’t see the way you care for your son,
gentle, kind, and at times, stern – followed by rapid bouts of hilarity.
Belly laughs and giggles fraught with bisous –
(See, I am learning French.)
Even as I type this, I am reading an article that has compiled
the most beautiful words in the French language.
Chuchoter. Effleurer. Folie. (My favorite.)
Because maybe you do, maybe you don’t know that I am
in this with you for good.
It’s okay if you don’t see it, that one I can prove.
And I can imagine our mornings of stillness and a silence so
pure that we refuse to let even feathers breathe.
Whether they be here in California, New York, France – wherever,
you might not see it, but I would follow you anywhere.
Sometimes it really hits me, you know –
the gravity of this situation we are in.
Gravity – it is a rather ironic concept,
such a powerful force, and yet, we will never lay eyes on it.
And if you think about it a tad too much, it can leave you baffled.
But that’s the way I feel about you.
There are moments where I feel like I do not deserve you,
and then times where I know you are exactly what I deserve.
What I have desired all along –
someone who adores my bedhead, who understands that it is
never wise to grocery shop with empty stomachs (and yet we do it anyway),
someone who understands me.
It’s okay if you don’t see yourself the way that I do.
If you can’t see the way your love has moved – and is moving – me,
to be fully vulnerable with another human.
You promised me we would fall in love,
and fall in love we have,
and it is maddening, and wild, and yet comfortable and familiar,
and there are no restraints when it comes to you and me.
We are electric. White lightning and blue flames. Inoubliable.
So it’s okay if you don’t see yourself the way that I do,
I will be here, I’m not going anywhere.
Even wandering souls have a way of making it back,
I will not stray, nor will I roam, with your left in my right,
I know I am home.

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