The answer is dreams. Dreaming on and on. Entering the world of dreams and never coming out. Living in dreams for the rest of time.
– Haruki Murakami, Sputnik Sweetheart
I’m sorry that I’m here so late, and please don’t turn my heart away. For your love, I can change, ‘cause without you I’m so hollow. I’m sorry that I let you go, it’s only when it’s lost you know, seeing you, missing you, such a bitter pill to swallow.
– Gavin James, Bitter Pill
We went to a charming café last night.
The evening was fraught with fireflies and indigo stars.
We sat beneath an ivory awning laced with velvety moss.
Ordered two cappuccinos – the barista shaped the milk
so a heart cascaded over our espresso.
He must have known we are in love.
You grabbed two packets of brown sugar –
sweet like your honeyed skin.
I have missed you so much, I breathed.
I can see how much you’ve changed, a grin spread across your face.
A grin spread across mine, too.
Will you stay with me tonight?, you took my hand in yours.
The easiest response I have ever given: yes.
We wandered back to your apartment,
strolling by those flying fairies with flickering lights.
You turned on John Mayer’s Gravity, our favorite summer song,
the one we listened to every night when we first started dating.
As July heat filled the room – I always loved that the safety
of a military base let us sleep with the front door open.
We climbed into bed – you on the right, I on the left.
I’m still so in love with you, _a_i_, my eyes teared up.
We should definitely try again, you told me.
(Thank God, I thought).
I finally felt happy again. I felt at peace.
You encircled me with your arms – I felt your warmth so clearly.
You kissed me – I know your lips so well.
I felt your five o’clock shadow hair brush against my cheek.
This is real. I can’t believe it. I kept thinking.
I kept thinking, this is all I’ve been wanting all this time.
I even whispered to God, thank you for bringing him back to me.
Thank you for never losing faith in us.
In the most familiar way, we fell asleep facing towards each other.
Your eyes began to close – I love the silver, the blue, the green.
The 7 a.m. sun filtered through the shutters.
Illuminating dust particles and free spirit feathers.
I woke up and reached over to feel for you.
My arm felt the cool side of a pillow instead.
It took me a full minute to realize, I am alone in this bed.